Good Dog

This is my first shot at Flash Fiction.  Let me know what you think…


She’s lying in a pool of blood, life simultaneously gathering and fleeing from her, and she can’t help blaming herself.

Her nails dig into the hard floor and she feels the broken bones in her body scream.  The ferric scent of finality assaults her, much as he has, and she prays to a God she doesn’t believe in for vengeance on the monster standing over her.

Then it comes; ripping, tearing, shouting violence and the sickening crunch of death.

A cold, wet nose presses into her face.

Rescuing the dog was his idea.  Caring for it was hers.

“Good dog..”


 

7 thoughts on “Good Dog

  1. I think I like this, I’m not sure. I like your words but not sure about the story. I’m not sure it’s obvious to me about what has happened in your story. Maybe you mean it to be like that. Or maybe I’m just a bit dim…..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the comment, and sorry it’s not totally clear. As I said, it’s my first shot at flash fiction, so I probably screwed it up.

      The story is this:

      A woman is beaten savagely by her husband/boyfriend/lover and he is standing over her as she is lying on the hardwood floor, bleeding to death.

      She blames herself, as many victims do, and starts praying for God to save her.

      The dog that the couple owned then comes into the room, attacks and kills the man.

      The turn about for her in the last moments was that getting the dog from the pound (the pound is what we call animal rescue shelters in America) was the man’s idea, but much like his relationship, he didn’t care for the animal. She had to do that.

      Then the animal he neglected came back and killed him.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Ah, I see what happened. I think if you somehow indicated she was a woman or used “she” or “her” that might help in the beginning. Also, maybe an indication that dog is attacking her husband. It’s good writing, it’s just not completely clear who is doing what. Great job!

    Liked by 1 person

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